21 Practical Ways for
Staying Positive in Life (Part I) 

When we make a decision to become positive and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive.

Negativity limits your potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. It has a tangible effect on our health, too. 

Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively. 

When we make a decision to become positive and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. 

Although negative and positive energy will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity. 

Before we get into building positivity into our life, let’s look at why we would even bother. What are the real benefits of being more positive? 

(I) Negativity doesn’t work – Literally – Our subconscious brain can’t handle it: 
The other thing about negativity is that our brains can’t process negative words according to the latest studies. So when we hear phrase like “don’t smoke” or “don’t touch that,” our subconscious skips over these negative words and simply hears “smoke” or “touch that.” 

Our conscious mind can obviously process these words, but it’s the subconscious that makes a lot of our decisions without us realizing. What this means for us is that we struggle to change our habits or thought patterns when we tell ourselves negative phrases, since only our conscious minds can take those in. 

We can make this much easier and let the subconscious do its job by using positively-framed phrases like “refrain from smoking” or “walk away from that.”

(II) You’ll improve your outlook of the future: 

Positive thinking can actually improve our overall happiness. Noting down things we’re grateful for on a regular basis and how that can improve our happiness. 

A study at the University of North Carolina also showed that positive emotions are more likely to encourage people to plan ahead and think of actions they would like to take or activities they’d like to participate in the future. Negative emotions, on the other hand, led to participants being less inclined to think positively about their future. 

(III) You’ll be more healthy:

Yes, positivity has shown to directly affect your physical health. Another study from the University of North Carolina used the ancient practice of loving-kindness meditation to test how cultivating positive feelings like love, compassion and goodwill towards others could affect the emotional and physical health of the participants. 

Compared to the control group who did not participate in the meditation, the meditators showed increases in positive emotions like amusement, awe and gratitude during the research period. They also reported feeling more socially connected and closer to the people around them. 

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

Now that we know how beneficial positivity can be to our health and happiness, let’s look at some ways of building a habit of being positive.

1. FOCUS ON WHAT'S POSSIBLE: 

Avoid “can’t” thinking or other negative language. Don’t be afraid to seek help in accomplishing things, but remind yourself that you don’t need approval from others to recognize your accomplishments. Focus on what you’re able to do. Remind yourself of all your capabilities and positive qualities. 

2. LET GO OF THE PAST:

You must look to the future to change. Stop thinking of old failures. They are the past. This is NOW. Remind yourself that this time you’re focusing on the core issues that will ensure your success. BELIEVE IT! 

3. LEARN TO ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS AND BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM, SELF-IMAGE, AND CONFIDENCE. 

A compliment is a gift to the receiver and a gift to the giver if the receiver really accepts it. Very few people do this well. Truly taking in a compliment is an opportunity to increase our self-esteem, self-image, and confidence. If you don't accept the gift of a compliment, it hurts the giver’s feelings and the chance of that person giving you a gift again is decreased. 

4. BE KIND TO YOURSELF. 

People often feel perfectly comfortable treating themselves in ways they wouldn’t consider treating others. Do you call yourself names like fat, ugly, and loser? Would you use those terms to describe a friend? Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated well. Do something nice for yourself sometimes, either in thought (give yourself a compliment) or action (give yourself a nice workout). 

5. BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FEELINGS. 

Just as you can’t make all other people happy, don’t expect others to make you feel happy or good about yourself...and don’t blame them if you feel guilty or bad about yourself. You create your own feelings and make your own decisions. People and events may set the stage for your emotions, but they can’t dictate them. What others think about you and say to you can only have as much effect as you allow it to have. What’s important is what you tell yourself, and how you react to others. 

6. ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU. 

Just as not everything is your fault, not everything is your responsibility, either. You’re responsible for you; it's great if you also influence others positively, but you’re not responsible for their thoughts, feelings and actions. It’s OK to be helpful, but don’t feel the need to be all things (and do all things) for all people. This is putting too much of a burden on yourself. 

7. LOSE THE GUILT. 

You’re not to blame every time something goes wrong or someone has a problem. Apologizing for things and accepting the blame can be a positive quality — if you're in the wrong. You learn and move on. But you shouldn’t feel responsible for all problems or assume you’re to blame whenever someone’s upset. 

8. ENCOURAGE YOURSELF. 

Instead of focusing on the negative, replace your criticism with encouragement. Give constructive suggestions instead of being critical. (“Maybe if I try to do ____ next time, it would be even better,” instead of “I didn’t do that right.”) Compliment yourself and those around you on what you’ve achieved. (“Well, we may not have done it all, but we did a pretty great job with what we did.”) Giving praise will also encourage others to praise you, and this builds up your confidence to continue on the path. 

9. DON’T BULLY YOURSELF! 

It’s great to want to do well, but expecting yourself to be better than the best and then punishing yourself when you fail is a vicious cycle. Stop it. Live in the present and move forward. Don’t drag the past along for the ride; it gets heavy. Keep saying to yourself, “I know I can...I know I can...I can...I can!” Tell your subconscious you’ve already done it. Be kind to yourself and remember you can do this! 

10. IT'S OK TO BLOW IT. 

Maybe you got nervous and embarrassed that you couldn't keep up in workout session or felt bad that you gave in and ate those potato chips. It’s OK. All people have weaknesses, and we all fall off the path at times or don’t do things as well as we think we should. Your boss, co-workers, friends, family, and favorite movie star have all had embarrassing moments and setbacks. Make doing your best your ideal goal. Focus on what you’ve gained from the process and how you can use it in the future. Allow yourself to make mistakes and then forgive yourself.

11. LOOK FOR THE POSITIVE. 

Did you know that love is a word derived from the Sanskrit word that means looking for the good? Be loving toward yourself (and others), and instead of focusing on what you think your negative qualities are, accentuate your strengths and assets. Maybe you didn’t develop enough stamina this month to run a mile, but perhaps your hard work and perseverance led to losing an additional five pounds. Maybe you felt nervous and self-conscious when going out to a formal social event, but you received numerous comments from friends that they were happy you joined them and had a good time. 

12. AVOID ABSOLUTES AND EXAGGERATIONS. 

Correct your internal voice when it exaggerates, especially when it exaggerates the negative: “I always eat too much” or “i’ll never lose weight.” These are absolutes, meaning they’re always 100 percent true, but there are very few absolutes in life. If you exaggerate or use an absolute, rephrase what you say. For example, “I always eat too much” can be changed to, “In the past, i’ve often eaten too much. Now, I’m getting better at how much I eat.” Then feel good about taking control of your thoughts. 

13. HALT NEGATIVE THOUGHTS IMMEDIATELY. 

Sometimes putting a stop to negative thinking is as easy as that. The next time you start giving yourself an internal critique session, tell yourself to stop it! If you saw a person yelling insults at someone else, you’d probably tell them to stop, wouldn’t you? Why do you accept that behavior from yourself? 

14. STOP MAKING EXCUSES: 

To be more positive, you should try and stop putting up barriers over new challenges. You may even be making excuses with regards to things that could have a chance of making you feel happier, and not even know. Try and say yes a little bit more and dim the voice in the head telling you that you cannot do it. 

15. ONLY USE POSITIVE WORDS WHEN TALKING: 

When you are talking to others and even yourself, try and stick to using positive words only, and refrain from any negative words. You should try and stop using words such as ‘no’, ‘can’t’, ‘won’t’ and ‘don’t’, and replace them with more positive words. This way you are changing your physical words and your brain can start getting used to a more positive language. 

16. REMIND YOURSELF OF YOUR BLESSINGS: 

Just like when you remind yourself of how great you are, you should also remind yourself of all your blessings. These types of things could be your family, friends or even smaller things such as having a roof over your head. You could even tell your family and friends what your blessings are so you are also saying them out loud and repeating it to yourself. 

17. DEVELOP A PERSONAL MANTRA: 

A Mantra is much like a positive affirmation, but you typically will develop your own personal mantra to repeat to yourself. Make sure your mantra are words that inspire you and can remind you to stay positive each day. You can repeat these to yourself in meditation or whenever you feel most relaxed and calm. 

18. PREPARE YOUR ENVIRONMENT: 

The environment we try to build new habits in (or break old ones, even) has a huge effect on how successful we are. Environment in this case includes the people we spend time with and the messages we hear or tell ourselves, as well as our physical environment. In terms of being positive, you could find a friend or family member to do this with to keep you accountable, or set a daily reminder so you don’t forget. Filling your work space with positive sayings or images could help, and reading books that encourage positive thinking will reinforce this. 

19. TAKE NOTE OF ONE POSITIVE MOMENT EVERY DAY: 

Noticing the positive things that happen in your everyday life has been proven to be a successful method of increasing your positive thinking. This doesn’t just happen when you’re doing the exercise: the effects can actually last much longer. 

20. TRY TO MEDITATE:

Meditating is beneficial for the body and mind. It not only improves mindfulness and positive thinking while you’re doing it, but it has been shown to decrease illness and improve mindfulness and feelings of purpose in life up to three months after being practiced daily for a short period. After establishing the habit for several weeks, you can slowly increase the length of your meditation sessions to an amount that gives you the most benefit. 

21. BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING: 

When we spend time being grateful and appreciate everything in our lives—from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day—we shift our attitude from one of lack and frustration to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships. We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving instead of taking.

Here is the example of one of my former students who tried some of these practices and successfully changed his life for the better. 

Stay positive!

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